Monday

I am such a burden to my family they would be so much better if I was dead. I if I was gone Jesse would not be forgotten he would be better off. I never feel like I am ever living. All I ever do is decide if doing a different treatment will kill me. I love my sister Anna to death, she has given up everything for me. She is not sick, but Anna has had many operations to give me blood, platelets or even bone marrow. She was born to save me, but she needs to live her life and not worry about mine. That is why I asked her to kill me. I know she won’t physically kill me, but I want her to find a way to. Anna told me tonight that she is going to a lawyer so she can have medical emancipation. What this will mean for me is that she won’t have to donate anymore, this means I am going to die in the immediate future. I just want to be gone.